Tuesday 22 February 2011

Space-Brick: A Tale of Hatred


Most of you reading this will barely need to read any more. There are very few single models that will make a xenos player face-palm the minuet they enter the deployment zone. What with blogging being 99% hatred and 1% useful info I thought I might swing in favour of the majority for my first contribution and beat down on a vehicle that even Jeremy Clarkson couldn’t make me like.


The space marine Landraider.


It is completely un-called for. Why do you need an armour 14 all round brick that can shart out terminators straight into assault and blow the snot out of any other one of my units with an armoury so large it makes the US marine corps look like a scout group with a single slingshot between them. On top of that you can bolt on a bloody storm bolter – why! Is it not doing enough! Did they test it and think, “Wow this really is lacking something…” What am I supposed to do to that?


Yes I can get an armour 14 vehicle for 95 points in my codex… with nothing on it! I can’t fire a peashooter from my battlewagon without shelling out points – and its only A14 on front, how big is the front? About the width of my thumb. My answer to the landraider and you couldn’t even hit the one bit of it that has decent protection if you tried, kick it in the arse however and it falls apart immediately. Armour 10 baby – well thank you very zogging much.


The sad thing is that I haven’t even faced one in battle. But my green gods I am dreading it. Not because it will drive over the only models in my army capable of felling it as though they were tyre-tracked squirrels squashed against the M6 but because I know that the player decimating me with it will actually feel a sense of achievement. He will look up from the table with that wry smile of a commander who has just outclassed his opponent as though there was some merit in what he has done.


“OMG I cant believe you just managed to take down my one anti armour unit, which could only have glanced you anyway, with your great bastard tank all the while surviving the two rockets that do come your way each turn courteously of my BALISTIC SKILL 2 orks. The talent. It is unbearable.”


Perhaps you wonder why I single out the LR and not, say, the Necron Monolith. Frankly it is because the image of the Monolith hasn’t been permanently burned onto my retina in quite the same way. I don’t mean to say I see nothing but land raiders at my club but is it just me or is white dwarf just a 42 page spread of landraiders these days? Find me an issue without a land raider and I will find you five landraiders in that issue. Minimum. Its like paying four quid to see a magazine consisting entirely of your future rapists face – and then giving stats and tactics the rapist might use to best rape you, followed by a breakdown of some new Apocalypse formation of rapists with special rules that mean they get more dicks TO RAPE YOU WITH!


Still it could be worse. It could be a space wolf.

Burn Out: How to notice it, and finding the cure.

So for my first article on here, I thought i would post an article I wrote on Burn Out. I hope you all like it.

Are you playing the same games day in, day out, hoping for a change? Is looking at those 90 unpainted Orks getting you down? Have your dice failed you too many times? Are you thinking about quitting the game?


That's BURN OUT.

We've all been there at some point, and if you haven't... you will? But I thought people should know how to spot it, and how to combat it. It's as I said at the start of this, it could be anything, or a combination of things. Here are a few examples:
  • Losing several games in a row, or in general, losing more than you win or draw recently
  • What seems to be an endless sea of unpainted models, and finding it a chore to paint them
  • Not seeing the hits, but only really noticing the misses
  • Accidentally breaking a model, or damaging the paint
  • "That guy" telling you that your army is poorly built, or you are playing it wrong
  • Finding yourself stuck in your local meta game, playing the same game all the time
  • Even waiting for GW to release new stuff, whether it be models, FAQ's, or a new codex
And for all of these things, there can only be one outcome.

DEPRESSION
.


Sure it may be of a very mild form, but that is basically what it is. And I'm sure that out there somewhere, there is someone who it can effect more. It can even, in extreme conditions, effect your health. Mentally and physically. So, how do we combat this. There are several things I can think of to help in some way:
  • Mix it up!
If you are bored with the games you are playing, then play them differently. This could be done by playing a doubles game. Play a game out of a GW or DLT missions book, or Big Jims Kill Zone. Or if you need to... play a different game system for a change, be it Warmachine, Malifaux, Battletech, or anything else you may of been interested by. You'll be surprised how a change of pace can make you feel better.
  • Road Trip!
This is to do with local meta, and getting trapped in repetative games. Find another shop, store, or club to play a game at. Look outside of your local area. You may even want to enter a tournament. The change in tactics will make your brain do some work, stopping you from getting stale in your way of thinking.
  • Take One Step At A Time!
All those models may be very daunting to look at, but this can be solved fairly easily. Take only a few models out at any one. This may be something like a single monstrous creature, a tank, or ten man squad. You'll find that not seeing all those other models doesn't bring you down. Get a few friends round and have a painting party, as painting alone can get very... well... lonely. Also taking breaks helps. Stand up, walk around, or make yourself a drink. We all know what its like being stuck in the same hunched position for a long time.
  • Read!
Pick up a Black Library book. Read battle reports. Check out forums. You may get inspired and want to play a game, or finish that project.
  • Listen!
Podcasts are great to listen to, and there plenty out there, as I'm sure you know. And the more the merrier. Listening to all those people who share the same love as you do will help re-affirm your faith in the game and the hobby.
  • Take A Break!
I don't like saying this, but maybe taking some time away from the game completely will give you the chance to get over your slump. And finally...
  • Friends!
They are always there for you when you need them, to lean on, and to talk to. Friends will ALWAYS help you personally feel better about yourself.

Anyway, that is all I can think of for now. I hope this is of help to people, and that anyone out there is having a bad time gets over there rut.

Remember, this is a game, and is meant to be fun.

And as for "that guy"...

FUCK YOU!

Welcome to Stafford Wargames new blog and forum!

Hello and welcome to the new site everyone! I've just got this blog up and running where i will post my many musings and thoughts on all things wargaming as well as everything to do with the club. The blog is new and I am new to blogging so go easy :D

If you're interested in joining the club or just popping down to play one evening get on the forum and you'll find everything you need to know.

Happy wargaming everyone!